Here are 6 problems that everyone who has this unfortunate combination (like me) understands:
1. "Can I see your ID?.....Wait, one more time?"
Every. Single. Time.
This question comes along with that disbelieving look as they check one more time to make sure they saw the ID correctly and that it's actually mine. I haven't experienced this at a bar (I'm not 21 yet), but it's just as bad just waiting in line for an R-rated movie.
2. Kids' Menu!
It wasn't until a few years ago that I stopped getting the kid's menu question simply because I looked like I was 12. Sure, I'd love to color at the table now, but all I wanted back then was to be older. But was that even imaginable with people treating me like a child? Nope.
3. "You're HOW old?"
Yes, yes I am.
There's nothing left to say.
I've gotten this one my whole life, as my sister has always been taller than me. This picture is of my first day of senior year and my sister's first day of freshman year. Yes, I am still the same height now, and, yes, my sister has gotten even taller. Now more than ever I get the age confusion from people, and I doubt it'll ever go away.
5. Respect? Forget about it.
No matter how much you insist you are in fact an adult, you will never be respected in quite the same way as those who look their age or older. It's just not possible with your short view on life and your "cute" personality. Just accept it, there's nothing you can do about it.
6. "That means you'll look really young when you're 40!"
Ok, sure, maybe, but what about right now? I'm just supposed to wait around until my age finally catches up with me? Maybe I'll appreciate when I'm older but I don't see that happening any time soon.
Even though I don't have the exact same problem (I have never been carded for an r-rated movie), I can still relate to this post. Until I was about 12 everyone knew I was the older sister, and I was even considered older than I appear. But once my brother, and then my sister, started growing taller than me, I am often confused as the middle or even youngest sibling. On my own, I like to think I look my age, but once I stand next to my brother, people ask him where he is going to college (he is still a senior in high school). I think your blog opens people's eyes to how it feels to be in your position, and I can understand your point of view very clearly after reading your post. Great job!
ReplyDeleteYour post certainly made me think about audience. While I won't divulge my exact age, let's just say that your point #6 made me ponder! Your post conveys a sense of yearning for some future maturity; for a reader of my age, it gave me more of a sense of nostalgia--yearning for that bygone era in which I was carded. There's also an intriguing subtext here about the double-bind that faces many women (and probably men, too, but in a different way) - youth and beauty are prized, but also function as a way of infantilizing/ disempowering those who possess it. A woman who looks young is lauded for her beauty, but may not be treated as an adult, or receive the power that comes with adulthood.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate this post because it really brings up an issue that is easy to glaze over when addressing this seemingly harmless problem. Some people, often people who truly don't deserve it, are given the respect and attention of others immediately for no reason other than that they are a few inches taller or a year older in the face. People who appear younger are clearly part of a group, or even clearly an active and contributing part of a group, and can still be disregarded and even pushed aside regardless of their knowledge or experience. That's why it is heartening to know that when it comes down to biting the bullet and getting things accomplished, it is the size of your personality and the worth of your people skills that will overcome your physical appearance. A young face can be taken as an obstacle to be constantly overcome, or an opportunity to transcend a social expectation.
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